Quote Of The Moment:

"Familiarity breeds contempt - and children."


"Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do."
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"When in doubt tell the truth."
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"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."
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"There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy."
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"Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it."
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"The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right."
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"Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation."
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"The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause."
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"We have the best government that money can buy."
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"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen."
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"Prosperity is the best protector of principle."
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"Loyalty to petrified opinion never broke a chain or freed a human soul."
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"When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people."
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"Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late."
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"We are all alike, on the inside."
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"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug."
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"Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough."
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"There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist."
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"The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice."
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"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up."
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"When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain."
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"Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own."
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"The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes."
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"What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before."
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"It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand."
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"The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner."
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"The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year."
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"We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world."
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"It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them."
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"The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."
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"Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be."
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"It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so."
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"Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run."
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"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."
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"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat."
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"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."
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"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."
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"When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not."
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"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."
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"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."
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